Author: Kerry Ann Rockquemore, PhD
How to Make a Decision
Interested in joining us for an upcoming session of our Faculty Success Program? We know that deciding whether to participate in the program is a big decision. It requires a significant amount of time, funds, and energy. And while you might have seen the qualitative and quantitative data that shows the hard work “pays off” and you’ve heard or read the testimonials of your faculty peers who have participated, just like with any important decision, you might still find yourself in a state of ambivalence.
Merriam-Webster defines ambivalence as “simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (such as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action.” This ambivalence you may be experiencing is a low-level energy sucker, so you’re going to want to get past it so you can make your decision with confidence.
When I experience ambivalence, I do a little exercise that helps me to resolve that ambivalence and really get clear on what the best decision is for me.
The technique is simple.
All you need is four minutes, a timer, and an imagination. Here is how I do it.
Get in touch with my inner wisdom
First, I sit down in a relatively quiet place and set the timer on my phone for 2 min. When the timer starts, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Long, deep breaths through the nose help me settle myself down and get in touch with my inner wisdom. You may call it your intuition, inner mentor, higher self, the list goes on. But whatever you call your inner wisdom, now is the time to really get in touch with it.
Stand in the future as if you decided for something
Once I’m settled down and in touch with my inner wisdom, I imagine myself in the future having made the decision to pursue the goal. I actually try to visualize the outcomes. For example, if I were deciding to participate in the Faculty Success Program, I would imagine what my life would look like after the program concluded. I would imagine what my productivity, confidence, weekends, relationships, health, and emotional state would look like if I fulfilled this decision. I would stand in the future as if it were the present. And then, I would check in with those circumstances. How do they make me feel?
Stand in the future as if you decided against something
After the timer goes off, I reset it for another 2 minutes. I take my long, deep breaths and get back in touch with my inner wisdom. Then, I imagine myself in a future fulfilled if I decided against something. For the FSP, I would imagine what my life would look like if I didn’t participate. Again, I would imagine what my productivity, confidence, weekends, relationships, health, and emotional state would look like. I would reflect once more on how I would feel with those outcomes.
You cannot pour from an empty cup
At the end of those 4 minutes, I think about which decision feels more appealing. Usually for me, it’s pretty clear. Sometimes, the decision for something is more appealing and sometimes the decision against something is more appealing. And sometimes my inner wisdom comes up with an entirely new pathway. If I wasn’t able to imagine myself forward, then it’s probably a no. If I can’t even tap into my inner wisdom, I may be too overwhelmed or exhausted. I’m not yet in a place that I can connect with what’s best for me, which is a powerful awareness and a reality that I need to address immediately. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
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I encourage you to use this technique as you navigate ambivalence around your own decisions. Regardless of what you decide, these moments of self-reflection can free up your energy to work on the things that are truly important to you and move you past the anxiety of the present. If you choose yes, great! If you choose no, great! It’s a powerful feeling to be able to make a strong and secure decision. I like to offer a “yes” that is clear, intentional and committed. I like to have a “yes” that I am excited about. If I don’t feel that way about a decision, it’s probably not the right one for me at that moment.